Duke Nukem vs. Alien Queen





Duke Nukem vs. Alien Queen

Duke Nukem vs. Alien Queen

Twenty years ago, the PC gaming world was a grim, joyless landscape. If you weren’t shooting at Nazis, you were shooting at demonic hellspawn. (Or, if you’re like certain members of the Contest of Champions team, your folks were making you solve math problems and shoot ink pellets at blowfish.) But then a hero came along. A foul-mouthed, alien-blasting, stripper-enjoying hero who changed the world of PC gaming and first-person shooters forever. This week on Contest of Champions, it’s Duke Nukem vs. Alien Queen!

The game we’re talking about this week is Duke Nukem 3D.


Mister Fantastic vs. Plastic Man





Mister Fantastic vs. Plastic Man

Mister Fantastic vs. Plastic Man

As anyone who has left the remote on the other side of the couch knows, the ability to stretch would be like, one of the coolest superpowers. Well, we’ve got two of the stretchiest superheroes, the most flexible fighters, and the bendiest brawlers in the business. This week on Contest of Champions, it’s Mister Fantastic vs. Plastic Man.

Mister Fantastic

Let the Fantastic Four theme song tell you about Mister Fantastic’s story. Reed Richards is a super genius with the ability to stretch and shape his body into almost any shape.

Plastic Man

Let the Plastic Man theme song tell you all about Plastic Man’s story. Eel O’Brian is a former con-man and thief who, after being bathed in toxic chemicals, gained the ability to stretch and shape his body into almost any shape.

Voting ended on: Saturday January 30th, 2015, 11:59pm

Miles/pre-Secret Wars Earth-616 Mister Fantastic beat Timmy/any and every version of Plastic Man, 12-10!


Kylo Ren vs. Rey





Kylo Ren vs. Rey

Kylo Ren vs. Rey

Let’s not screw around, people. This is our post on The Force Awakens, the new Star Wars movie. It’s the biggest thing that’s ever happened, we’re an Internet website, and we’re legally obligated to do cover this. It doesn’t hurt that it was a tremendous flick and exceeded every expectation anyone could ever have. Spoilers abound, gang. We’re sorry that we’re not sorry.

The movie we’re talking about this week is Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens


Scarlet Witch vs. The Marvel Universe





Scarlet Witch vs. The Marvel Universe

Scarlet Witch vs. The Marvel Universe

Time sure flies, doesn’t it? And alternate time, created by possibly-insane grief-stricken mega-powerful mutants seems to fly even faster! We’re celebrating the ten-year anniversary of one of the most momentous and consequential stories in Marvel history, House of M. It was mind-blowing at the time, and we’re still dealing with the effects today. This week on Contest of Champions, it’s Scarlet Witch vs. The Marvel Universe!

The comic we’re talking about this week is House of M


Aquaman vs. Namor





Aquaman vs. Namor

Aquaman vs. Namor

In the roster of superpowers, there are a few standbys. Flight. Super strength. Laser eyes. Breathing underwater. That last one is our concern this week, as we present one of the most evenly matched contests. It’s a titanic tussle between two warriors of the waves, soldiers of the sea, dynamos of the deep. This week, it’s Aquaman vs. Namor!

Aquaman

King of Atlantis and founding member of the JLA, Aquaman can breathe underwater, telepathically command sea life (and anything descended from sea life), and has incredible strength, endurance, and speed due to living under the immense pressure of the sea.

Namor

King of Atlantis and the unofficial “first mutant” in the Marvel Universe, Namor the Sub-Mariner can breathe underwater, telepathically communicate with sea life, and has incredible strength, endurance, and speed due to living under the immense pressure of the sea. (We told you they were evenly matched!)

Voting ended on: Saturday December 19th, 2015, 11:59pm

Miles/pre-New 52 Aquaman tied with Timmy/Namor, 13-13!


Married? Married. Married? Yeah. Married. Married? Married! Jeez.





Your favorite pop culture commenters are taking a month off, folks, because Timmy’s getting married this week! Not to Doctor Octopus, unfortunately, but rather to a very sweet and wonderful gal. One half of Contest of Champions, (the better half), would like to congratulate Timmy and his soon to be bride a life time of happiness and health! Timmy has really and truly hit the jackpot. Much love, you guys.


S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. D.E.A.T.H.





S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. D.E.A.T.H.

S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. D.E.A.T.H.

One would think that an agency as secretive and invisible as S.H.I.E.L.D. would celebrate its 50th anniversary in as covert and understated a way as possible. But this is comics, folks! Instead, we’re treated to a whole pile of special 50th anniversary issues featuring adventures starring S.H.I.E.L.D.’s top agents, including one with some pretty explosive revelations about the secret history of the Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate (or whatever they’re calling it these days). This week on Contest of Champions, it’s S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. D.E.A.T.H.

The comics we’re talking about this week are S.H.I.E.L.D. vol.3 # 9, Fury: S.H.I.E.L.D. 50th Anniversary # 1, The Cavalry: S.H.I.E.L.D. 50th Anniversary # 1, Quake: S.H.I.E.L.D. 50th Anniversary # 1, Mockingbird: S.H.I.E.L.D. 50th Anniversary # 1 and Agent Carter: S.H.I.E.L.D. 50th Anniversary # 1


Mario vs. Bowser





Mario vs. Bowser

Mario vs. Bowser

Video games have never been more popular, but what epic rivalries lay at the heart of them? Allied troops versus Nazis? Space troops versus aliens? One football team versus another football team? Boooooring! Let’s hearken back to the good old days, when the scrolling was side-to-side, the pixels were enormous, and even the most beat-up games would work if you blew on them enough. To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the release of the granddaddy of all video games, we take a look at the battle between a diminutive Italian plumber and a giant fire-breathing reptile. It’s Mario vs. Bowser!

The game we’re talking about this week is Super Mario Bros..


May Parker vs. Martha Kent





May Parker vs. Martha Kent

May Parker vs. Martha Kent

Behind the world’s greatest superheroes are the world’s greatest mothers. Without these two women, who knows? Maybe Peter Parker wouldn’t even be smart enough to be on a field trip to a nuclear lab, and maybe Kal El would have been raised by wolves. But who is the greatest mom of them all? This week on Contest of Champions, it’s May Parker vs. Martha Kent!

May Parker

After the death of Richard and Mary Parker, May and Ben Parker took in their nephew Peter, raising him as a son. Peter eventually became Spider-Man to avenge the murder of his Uncle Ben. May remained Peter’s main source of love and support, teaching him right from wrong, and keeping him filled up on wheatcakes.

Martha Kent

Martha and Jonathan Kent were simple farmers in Smallville, Kansas, when they happened upon a mysterious spaceship that fell from the sky. Inside was Kal El, last son of Krypton, who Martha and Jonathan raised as their own son. Kal (or Clark) eventually became Superman, fighting for truth, justice, and the American way, and leaning on the values instilled in him by his mother Martha.

Voting ended on: Saturday September 19th, 2015, 11:59pm

Miles and May Parker from the Earth-616 Spider-Man comic books beat Timmy and every incarnation of Martha Kent, 24-6!


Yellowjacket vs. Ant-Man





Yellowjacket vs. Ant-Man

Yellowjacket vs. Ant-Man

Contest of Champions is nothing if not behind the times. Ant Man has been out for a month and a half, but we’re only getting around to it now. But good things come to those who wait, precious readers. This summer’s superhero blockbuster, starring Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, and Evangeline Lilly, is a delightful romp, and at the center is a miniature melee between two tiny titans. This week on Contest of Champions, it’s Yellowjacket vs. Ant Man!

The movie we’re talking about this week is Ant-Man.